My Glasgow Smile

They said it would be easy,

As easy as breathing‘s supposed to be,

Stretching a few muscles, to banish all pains,

A dose for a day, a few more to keep sane.

For Mother declared she was worried ,

And it displeased Father to see me lost;

My friends lovingly mobbed around me,

And over charred emotions, my smile embossed.

And I smiled as life rolled on,

I smiled at its mandates and jargons,

I smiled for the days to end,

I smiled for it is easy to pretend.

And I thought --

May be shadows do lighten the dark.

And bullets fly, for they love the beating heart.

But I feel them now, closing in,

See their fingers and arms stretched,

The corners of my mouth twitch uncomfortably,

And my blood boils for selfish carnage.

Some hold my lips,

Some pull my chin,

They spread my mouth

To a hideous grin.

My eyes pop out,

Something quietly dies,

I face the world,

With my Glasgow smile.

"..Till Death Do Us Part"

The look on your face when u opened the door

Made my heart glow, bright as gold.

I missed u too my love, oh yes,

And I m back now, thanks to God’s grace.

I walked in as u hastily stepped back,

The distancing years has made u shy,

I bared my teeth and smiled with love,

And you pierced the night with your cry.

I couldn’t wait and eagerly neared,

My arms stretched to hug you;

One fell with a thud,

Blame the rotting joints;

And you ran upstairs,

Your blood ice cold blue!

I followed hence, and broke the door,

My darling why u stay away?

Look, the casket wood wasn’t enough strong,

And keep our at bay.

I went to fix the cobwebbed hair,

And remove the rot and flesh on my drape,

But the girl in the saloon couldn’t hear,

While she made her hasty escape.

But surely love you don’t care all that,

I can see your face paled with surprise.

I promised I would come back whatever happens

For my affections are truer than lies.

Aren’t you happy to see me now?

Has your love died with my soul?

But this body and heart still yearns for you,

The body you loved, to kiss and hold.

Remember those days of sunny noon,

The air drunk with the scent of tulips,

Us as one, and forgotten worlds

Warms embraces and feeding lips?

So why won’t you kiss me today my love?

My burning passion isn’t dead.

Or do the worms wriggling out of my mouth

Make you sick instead?

Quiet Rampage

Leaves, full green (oh so bright)!

Fulfilling nature’s youth,

Patterns, beautiful and graceful,

Fleeting breach of Time’s truth.

The sighs of a painter’s arm,

Weaving fingers ache,

Sleepless lamps of an artisan,

Some sellers sweat of waste.

Verdurous, exquisite,

Now embellishes graceful drapes:

Lifeless, artificial,

Painted on some corner vase.

Meant to last,

Like memories,

Providing harrowing solace.

In gloomy nights of ardent memories,

I see these arching patterns.

I find the leaves of spring,

When the curtains are swept aside,

For the morning sun to gleam.

Leaning from a bridge, the raging river below,

I had learned to fall, but not to rise;

My mortal feet lead me to the crowded street,

I m not airborne, but there is solitude, where inebriant lies.

I, with my finite self, stand

Wounded – with dreams,

Wounded – with hope,

Wounded – by a glimpse.

I walk in a sunny avenue,

Shaded, comforted by the foliage,

I look up, smile at the red and blues,

Plethoric, soft and sweet.

It has rained, but no rainbows in the horizon,

The wait is over.

Tears have stained the fancies,

And there is nothing to recover.

The untouched flowers look at me and smile,

I will dream of them tonight.

I, My Friend and "IT"

And I wonder time and again, what can destroy a perfect friendship. Here you are, best “bros over hoes” with your best matey, planning to take over the world, strutting like big shots, an breakable thread of steal tying the friendship together; no room for distrust or doubt, no space for anger, just the cool sea of mutual understanding. What a relationship!! Bravo! Beats everything else. I mean, seriously, a drink and some random gabble with your pal, is so much cooler and better than any romantic date, even if it is fully paid, with complimentary gifts..!! But then, gods laugh, and our evil dead twin’s spirit laughs with them, and then out of the blue, one fine day, your friend shows you something cool, something sleek, something really (pardon my language) sexy, something which you had been planning to get for yourself for a long while, only he gets it first.

Jealousy is a bitch. If jealousy could be packaged and injected via some serum, that would be killing more microbes, hell, even cancer cells, faster than anything else!! Man! The way it makes u feel is just downright astonishing! You know it’s not right, and still it makes you feel so good, it almost makes killing over a trivial issue justified. And because it feels so warm and comfy to plan destroy the friend’s end and smile than secret I-hate-you-you-son-of-a-(pardon the language again)-bitch smile whenever he is around, that u don’t even bother getting rid of it. And then one fine day, you see that that friendship is no longer there. The continuous snaps at the besty’s jokes (‘cause now you can’t laugh at his jokes anymore as he has become the enemy), the regular hangouts cancelled, new ones, with new “bros-worse-than-hoes” taking their places, and no more replying back to texts, all took you slowly to the vanishing point. And poof, it’s not there.

May be, some day you do get the thing which initiated the very elaborately diabolical and evil process, may be u don’t. but the obvious question is, of course, did you get your revenge on your friend?? Nah! Not that.  The question is, was it worth the friendship..

(Personally, I think it was, but then again, it might be my evil dead twin’s ego speaking.)

Waking Up from the Longest Sleep

Moments, ornamented with emotions.

Emotions ranging from tears to lust,

Emotions, as dry as dust,

Blowing in the wind, as a contagious virus.

Open your mouth

Let all the words out.

Emptiness inside.

Light as the air,

Free of hope or despair,

Decrees defied.

Going beyond everything touched or perceived,

To something craved, never received.

Not overrated peace,

Nor the pretty thorn of love,

Nor the indefinable happiness,

Freedom from shackles of the known.

Immunity from culture’s drone.

While truth looks with unblinking eyes,

Escape beyond the vast bright skies.

My love drowned me in a sea of hate

And I couldn’t find my way of escape.

In an empty room, I look at the walls unscratched,

As I sharpen my nails on my heart.

I can see myself where I wanted to be,

I can see how deep this differentiating gorge is,

I take a jump towards eternity,

Hands outstretched,ready to seize

I fall, the inevitable fall

The exponential drop from the vanishing top

I answer nature’s final call.

To God and You

A few months back, I was waiting for one of those official-life-depends-on-it types letter to arrive, and it was beyond late. Thus for the sake of my dear life, I did the obvious, and  prayed to God. During these frequent episodes of fervent praying, I began to wonder about God? Is the almighty the one who is found in our prayer rooms, or the soul within us? Prophets have dictated so many answers, that the truth suddenly seemed obscure. I wondered how God works. I wanted God to help deliver the letter. However, obviously God wouldn’t be coming on my doorstep. A postman will do that job. Then will God tell the postman to deliver the letter soon? No again. The post office department is going to take care of that. Then what?  Will God go ahead to give a man visions about how a desperate girl in some faraway city is looking with puppy eyes for him to post a letter. No, the man himself and his superior are going to be responsible for it. So is my God that one superior, bestowed with the powers to decide my fate? I wanted to talk to my mom about this, but she was somewhat busy at that time, waiting for the maid, and she, like me, was praying to God so that the maid comes, as there was a pile of washing to be done. But just like the postman, God, I am sure, wasn't enlightening the maid about her duties. So, again, who is God?

The Books tell us that our actions determine us, and in a way, God’s work is done via our deeds. It’s true, I suppose. But then terrorism is all around us and is the cause of numerous deaths and the destruction of countless families. And they too believe they are doing the work of God. Does that mean God is smiting us for something we did or didn’t do? I find that pretty illogical. Unless God is mad scientist, how can a creator go ahead to destroy his own precious creations? Thinking this far I began to remember God’s dimensions. He is omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent, is everywhere, amongst us, beyond us, within us.

If we look at a larger picture, there are some billion people on this planet. Each in his or her own small way affects our life. The delivery boy makes sure the CEO gets his mails. The coffee bean picker in some South American village makes sure CCD continues to make many things happen over its cup of coffee. The president makes an intelligent decision thanks to the peace his wife ensured in his own home and thus another day of World War 3 avoided. So many people, surrounding us, hearing, seeing everything we do or have done, decide what we can do the next moment. They give us the opportunity to make sure our lives are as smooth as we expect it to be. (Now natural disasters are something else, and since Mother Nature is a woman I doubt any He can handle her.) So, is God actually the billions of people on this earth? Is God just the representation of this ever-growing number, the “X” of the equation which never stops changing?

So, is love thy neighbor just a divine command? Or that fellow human being who does indeed have the power to deliver your letter on time deserves that respect for the simple reasons? So whom do I pray to now? Personally, without the random events of nature and the universe, I would have been lost, because somehow the letter did come that day, as did the maid and thus another day passed.

(After I gave this theory to my mother, it infuriated her. She asked whether that means she puts up her and my picture and starts worshiping those? Not a bad idea, though). So, if this entire theory does go against your moral ideas, which I am pretty sure it would, check that blood pressure and don't get angry and start cussing. I pray to you. Right now, you are my God.

An Odyssey

If you had been here now,

You would have seen a cat

Sitting quietly in a corner of the street;

And listened to the duet of the silent night,

And the chirping bird,

Who forgot what night and day mean.

Had you been here

You would have felt the breeze,

As it would have cooled your sun warmed cheeks,

The starry night would have smiled down

And told you, why

Van Gogh loved her more than the sun’s streaks.

You might have enjoyed walking

The solitary road,

Loneliness wouldn't have touched you still;

Your own slow stride would have ruled the path,

And the race of man

Wouldn’t have trampled your prints.

As you would have made your way

With the living around you,

Safe in their beds, sleep oozing from their doors,

You might have had noticed,

A dreamless window,

Sighs clogging its every pore.

Had you looked there,

You would have found a soul,

Detached, yet forlorn;

A silent audience of the night

Lurking in shadows,

Torn.

Would you have looked closely

To find the secret?

Would you have waited to investigate?

The beauty of night is a cruel seductress,

Would you have delayed

Just a bit?

As the unknown entwines with magic,

And the breeze blows coolly

Pulling you,

Would you have walked, not looking back,

Or would you knock the door,

To make someone’s dream come true?