Family

The leaf shrugs off the persisting chains

Farewell to parental bough!

Blows away with sailing breeze

Dispossessed, aimless.

The leaf knows not its solitary fate,

Destined to wither in some foreign earth.

An Original mistake, not time enough to learn, but suffer.

The wind blows away, to scavenge another soul,

 Stealing the vestiges of a happy dream,

Suck the hope from the shivering dawn,

Caress with a cool finger, those warm cheeks,

It flies hence.

Dispossessed, aimless,

Eternally unloved.

Dreams within Dreams

In some nook and corner, there was this world,

One painted with my dreams,

With dragons and gingerbread men, red apples and princesses,

Castles, meadows and clear, whispering streams.

Where the autumn red leaves, fell with a hush,

Covering brick roads with rustling carpets,

And the sky was always coloured dusk,

While the lark flew into the sunset.  

And as you walked by the river, in the green glade.

With flowers dressed up pretty, for a masquerade,

You may find me there, alone,

Smiling, sleeping,

Lost in another forgotten world,

Dreaming.

"..Till Death Do Us Part"

The look on your face when u opened the door

Made my heart glow, bright as gold.

I missed u too my love, oh yes,

And I m back now, thanks to God’s grace.

I walked in as u hastily stepped back,

The distancing years has made u shy,

I bared my teeth and smiled with love,

And you pierced the night with your cry.

I couldn’t wait and eagerly neared,

My arms stretched to hug you;

One fell with a thud,

Blame the rotting joints;

And you ran upstairs,

Your blood ice cold blue!

I followed hence, and broke the door,

My darling why u stay away?

Look, the casket wood wasn’t enough strong,

And keep our at bay.

I went to fix the cobwebbed hair,

And remove the rot and flesh on my drape,

But the girl in the saloon couldn’t hear,

While she made her hasty escape.

But surely love you don’t care all that,

I can see your face paled with surprise.

I promised I would come back whatever happens

For my affections are truer than lies.

Aren’t you happy to see me now?

Has your love died with my soul?

But this body and heart still yearns for you,

The body you loved, to kiss and hold.

Remember those days of sunny noon,

The air drunk with the scent of tulips,

Us as one, and forgotten worlds

Warms embraces and feeding lips?

So why won’t you kiss me today my love?

My burning passion isn’t dead.

Or do the worms wriggling out of my mouth

Make you sick instead?

An Odyssey

If you had been here now,

You would have seen a cat

Sitting quietly in a corner of the street;

And listened to the duet of the silent night,

And the chirping bird,

Who forgot what night and day mean.

Had you been here

You would have felt the breeze,

As it would have cooled your sun warmed cheeks,

The starry night would have smiled down

And told you, why

Van Gogh loved her more than the sun’s streaks.

You might have enjoyed walking

The solitary road,

Loneliness wouldn't have touched you still;

Your own slow stride would have ruled the path,

And the race of man

Wouldn’t have trampled your prints.

As you would have made your way

With the living around you,

Safe in their beds, sleep oozing from their doors,

You might have had noticed,

A dreamless window,

Sighs clogging its every pore.

Had you looked there,

You would have found a soul,

Detached, yet forlorn;

A silent audience of the night

Lurking in shadows,

Torn.

Would you have looked closely

To find the secret?

Would you have waited to investigate?

The beauty of night is a cruel seductress,

Would you have delayed

Just a bit?

As the unknown entwines with magic,

And the breeze blows coolly

Pulling you,

Would you have walked, not looking back,

Or would you knock the door,

To make someone’s dream come true?

A Bit about Love

It's a quiet lazy afternoon. The rains have stopped. Old jazz in the player. As the saxophone croons along, I think about feeling alone and left out. I think about the heartbreaks and the tears, some memories made and the moments destroyed ...

...  A view from the Ganga ghat, a lone figure looking at the other side, trying to find a company in his isolation, but it is getting dark and there is almost zero visibility. The jet zooms through in the late twilight sky, leaving behind a trail of condensed air. The crickets start their nightly orchestra, and the homeward bound birds chorus to the beat. Everyone leaves once the day ends, but the night brings some one different. Nothing is ever left alone. As the waters of the river lap the shores of both banks, a silhouette walks slowly by on the other side, stops, picks up a stone and throws it as hard as she could in the water. As the stone skims through almost half the way and finally sinks in, sending ripples around, the guy in the other side wonders what caused it.

As he turns back for home, his ipod and he hums along with Louis Armstrong, and he wonders about the rippling water, and vaguely wishes that there was enough light...

The night hugs the earth, the birds sleep for the night, the lil’ ones cozy in their mothers embrace. Somewhere an owl hoots, and keeps on hooting, and hooting..

…Oh wait, no.. It’s my mobile ringing. I pick up the call, its you. I smile as I listen about your interview. Thank God you understood who made the ripples.

Tempestuous clouds, bid me farewell

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A Winter Memory

"If you miss the train I am on

You will know that I am gone…"

Everywhere you look you see mufflers and sweaters, and scarves with pretty patterns, caps and shawls, walking by; talking, arguing, laughing. Notice a black jacket and a grey sweater walking together..

The evening was really cold. As people in mufflers and sweaters huddled past, a couple made way towards the ice cream shop near the train station. While the girl was busy with her ice cream stick, and the guy enjoyed his cold drink, an announcement was made from the station; the train they were supposed to be on, was leaving. “They are early!” she yelled, as she checked the time on her mobile phone “Doesn’t matter” he said, and finished his drink in two big gulps, and ran towards the ticket counter. The girl, managing her ice cream, followed him.

A few seconds, and they were running towards the stairs, the guy taking two or three steps at a time, the girl, trying (well, more likely lumbering) to keep up. Once on the bridge, they saw the train had started to move. “We are not going to make it”, exasperated guy. “Come on”, laughing girl. Again, the guy jumping two three steps at a time, the girl (you know it) trying to keep up. By the time they reached the platform, the train had gained more speed. They guy looked worried, but the girl laughed and hopped on one of the approaching compartments. The guy followed. People inside the compartment shouted, as she jumped inside, but she had no ears for them, her eyes were for the person in front of her. “What a rush!” She laughed like crazy and slumped on a seat. The guy trying to fan her with his ticket, sat beside her, smiling. She held his hand, tight, and put her head on his shoulder. He looked at her and she kissed him.

The journey was long, and thank God they caught the train.

In nothingness, we unite

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Dear You,

I saw you again last night. It was a good dream. I wonder where you are at this moment. Are you working? Are you with someone? Some one special, more special than I ever could have been? Or are you alone, alone in your room with the soft sunlight of late twilight filling up the room, making it more dark than bright, making you more pensive than thoughtful? I don’t know what you are doing. I can, but only, assume. I don’t think I will ever know again. 

Has it been months or years since I last saw you? I don’t remember. Funnily, I don’t remember anything much, about anything in particular any more. I go out everyday, laugh, joke, eat, work, study, pass time, eat again and sleep, and in the middle of all these, there is nothing that I take with me for the next day, nothing I find even remotely significant to hold on. But I still remember that little shop we ate at one day, the face of the hawker, the feel of the benches we sat on, what I had worn that day, what we talked about, most of the memories flash by just like that. It’s a like a slide show. I stop sometimes, look at that picture, take in some of the finer details, smell the memory and then turn it on again. 

I have wondered time and again, even now wondering, do you miss me? or even think about me anymore? I now it is stupid to ask, but I can’t help it. Contrary to what my friends believe, I haven’t yet moved on. Even though I have tried more than the ways possible, still you come to me, unbidden and sudden, when I am least prepared, and take me wholly. 

I am thinking about the dream again, it was so nice, so pretty. I remember that I am angry with you because you are leaving and you are smiling. I see ur bags are packed and we are at the railway station. You laugh at my anger and then u take me with you, and I am so happy. The dream was so happy, I woke up smiling today.

You have always been like the air. Sudden. Strong. Sensuous. And I miss you today, more than yesterday.

Yours truly

Me…

For the Sweet Unwanted

It’s 5 o’clock, and the crows are singing,

The sun is yet to shine

The movie just finished, credits rolling,

It’s now my sweet bed time.

The pillows smell of last night’s sweat

The sheets haven’t yet been changed

But once I lie, sleep comes by,

Dreams whisper in my ear,

No more nightmares I fear,

I sleep perfect without you here,

My sweet unwanted dear.

Waking up late, with the afternoon tea,

Grouchy eyes on the screen,

Browse through the pages, there is nothing to see,

I yawn, the bed looks inviting.

Last night’s rumpled and wrinkled sheet,

Life is simple as it is,

Philosophy; sounds better with some biscuits.

I smile as I check the inbox,

And wonder about affections gained and lost,

I grin as I read through,

Another day down, happily without you

Ajo achi.

Ajo achi,

Megher gorjone, shaliker dake,

Chhoto shishur misti abdare.

Ajo pabe amay,

Ful ar kurir majhe,

Kono bhule jawa gaye,

Tulshi tolae diper alo jokhon jege othe sanje.

Ami thakbo.

Bhulbe ki amay tumi?

Rekhona amay onno smritir arale,

Amar ostitter shakkhi hoe theko tumi,

Ami je asbo abar, shurjer kiron hoe,

Tomar kono ek ses sokale.

The Last Chapter

Lets see where I left off, where’s the end of the last chapter,

Where do the rest of the words go, this has to end in shards of laughter.

If there was a story you wanted to be told,

A part of your life, which would be remembered always.

How can u choose to give glory to pain?

Love, after all, makes us live our days.

The road to heaven was wet with the rain,

The grass roots heaving a sigh,

The street lamps stand tall and blind,

And I see a girl in the arms of a guy.

Loves stories around the world,

Take a breather, and look hither,

May be u will find respite from your doomed lives,

A lasting memory, before u die and wither.

See how the girl smiles, see her blush in the moonless night.

I am dazzled by what I see

A distant bird cries out in flight.

Look at the man, bare, like a boy, walks with the girl, holding hands.

He feels the magic, of the loveliest blunder,

He reads a silent grace, for the holy man.

Looking around, I see everything.

The raindrops each with a tiny rainbow,

The trees, the dogs, the people passing,

Each in their own world, feeling high, feeling low.

A turn or two later,

A few I love you’s that mattered,

I see them walk towards the end of their road.

There was no you, there was no I,

There was no we to divide,

Just a song remained, never sung, never told.

And here I end my story of laughter

No laughs were heard,

But memories remembered.

20 Questions

I looked at you and smiled. We were sitting cross-legged; holding hands tightly, on the stone floors of a deserted house; far away. I heard the roar of a thousand seas and noticed how you winced, almost imperceptibly. Almost. I always noticed everything about you. I smiled to myself and pulled your hands. You looked at me, your face a strange mask of anxiety, and love. You had always loved me, even when I hadn’t.

“So tell me this then, who has the highest batting average in test matches?” I asked. You didn’t answer, but grimaced and rolled your eyes, stubbornly refusing to reply. I shook our clasped hands, “Come on, you know, I have told you this before.” I insisted. “This is not funny, stop this. You know I am scared. This DOESN’T help” you yelled back and looked away. I felt your hold tighten on my hands.

“Okay easier one this time,” I went on, ”who invented safety pin?” I said with a big grin. You looked at me with deep annoyance and parted those lips to say something, but didn’t. You rolled your eyes and looked away again. I laughed and continued, “Umm.. okay, at least tell me who is the best cat in the world?” I heard your laughter even before it started. And I wondered how I had wasted all those years listening to stupid rock concerts. “Garfield. Okay? Happy? Now stop.” You replied, and smiled. The way u looked, that deep gaze, I felt as if you knew everything and still so innocent about everything else.

“Okay last one”, I said, “gear up ‘cause this is the biggie”. I took a deep breath, proposals had never been easy, and I remembered time wasn’t on my side.

Another deep breath. “Tell me, will you marry me?” I saw with a pang of sadness, how your smiling eyes changed, they became filled with tears of anguish in a matter of moments. You hung your head. I couldn’t hold you because you still hadn’t let go of my hands. I heard a faint murmur, you whispered, “yes”. You looked at me. The smile back, the tears still present. You pulled me close and our lips met. The softness of your lips filled me with pure and complete joy. I could taste the salty tears and I knew whatever came, we would be together now. I didn’t hear anything else, didn’t feel or remember anything beyond that moment. We were in our own little “love bubble”, as you used to call it, and forgot the whole world. I knew you did too. There were no more regrets. I knew neither had you. I knew there was a better world ahead for us. I believed this. And you did too.

The distant roar wasn’t that distant anymore. The huge wave, matching a thousand seas, came crashing on the little house. In a moment, it conquered and destroyed, and left nothing for time to preserve. It moved on for its next triumph, leaving behind a sea of desolation and plunder, leaving behind nothing but just an ocean. It roared again, as it raged ahead for its next target.