I saw you again last night. It was a good dream. I wonder where you are at this moment. Are you working? Are you with someone? Some one special, more special than I ever could have been? Or are you alone, alone in your room with the soft sunlight of late twilight filling up the room, making it more dark than bright, making you more pensive than thoughtful? I don’t know what you are doing. I can, but only, assume. I don’t think I will ever know again.
Has it been months or years since I last saw you? I don’t remember. Funnily, I don’t remember anything much, about anything in particular any more. I go out everyday, laugh, joke, eat, work, study, pass time, eat again and sleep, and in the middle of all these, there is nothing that I take with me for the next day, nothing I find even remotely significant to hold on. But I still remember that little shop we ate at one day, the face of the hawker, the feel of the benches we sat on, what I had worn that day, what we talked about, most of the memories flash by just like that. It’s a like a slide show. I stop sometimes, look at that picture, take in some of the finer details, smell the memory and then turn it on again.
I have wondered time and again, even now wondering, do you miss me? or even think about me anymore? I now it is stupid to ask, but I can’t help it. Contrary to what my friends believe, I haven’t yet moved on. Even though I have tried more than the ways possible, still you come to me, unbidden and sudden, when I am least prepared, and take me wholly.
I am thinking about the dream again, it was so nice, so pretty. I remember that I am angry with you because you are leaving and you are smiling. I see ur bags are packed and we are at the railway station. You laugh at my anger and then u take me with you, and I am so happy. The dream was so happy, I woke up smiling today.
You have always been like the air. Sudden. Strong. Sensuous. And I miss you today, more than yesterday.
Yours truly
Me…